The Answer Man

Tanya K. from Oswego Wisconsin writes, “Dear Answerman, my fiancee said he wants to pick my wedding gown.  I want to do this with my mom and friends, but I don’t want to upset him, what should I do?”

Dear Tanya, let’s talk about what kind of fiancees help pick wedding gowns.

The first kind are control freaks. If your fiancee is one of these you’re in for a life of being treated like a child. Every waking decision will be made for you. It sounds nice, until he tells the waiter, “She’s gonna have the weight watcher plate. She’s trying to lose that lard-filled doughnut she calls a waist.”

The second kind are the closeted gay men. Honestly, this may not be a bad thing. He’ll know what shoes go with which bag, take you to musicals and love to chit chat about the Kardashians. Of course, the downside is that sex will be infrequent and usually end with him saying, “Excuse me while I go throw up and cry.”

Sounds like you have nothing, but joy and happiness in front of you.

FOLLOW-UP: 

Tanya sent us this picture with a note saying, “Good news, he isn’t gay!”

Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com