Katrina S. from Alberta, Canada writes, “Dear Poppy, my live-in boyfriend barely works and I’ve been covering all the bills, but when I tell him he needs to chip in, he gets angry. Our relationship is already on the rocks, but this might end it. What should I do?”
Dear Katrina, let me cut to the chase, your boyfriend is using you like an ATM machine he can have sex with (by the way, if an ATM machine would give us money for sex, we’d have to train bank tellers to use the Jaws of Life, to extricate men, like your boyfriend, after they got their junk wedged in the deposit slot.)
My recommendation is; don’t think of it as “dumping” him, think of it as giving yourself a raise.
Anna L, from Cocoa Beach, Florida writes: “Dear Answerman, my boyfriend just blurted out that his ex is better in the sack than me, and then he topped it off with, ‘it’s okay because I love you and I never loved her.’ What the hell am I supposed to do with that nugget of shit?!”
Dear Anna, your boyfriend is a hopeless romantic…in the same way that “Gonorrhea” is a great name for a newborn. I see your relationship playing out like this: You stay together, get married, have kids, while he screws everything including dead bodies and knotty pine. Get out before you are carrying his demon seed.