Tag Archives: father

Tinsel All The Way.

tinsel

Julia T. from Scarsdale, New York asks, “Dear Answerman, my husband just told me he has a fantasy about wrapping me up in tinsel.  I’m afraid if I do this I’ll never be able to look at a Christmas tree the same way. Help me!”

Dear Julia, just to clarify, your husband has a fetish that mixes dominance, bondage and the joyful celebration of Jesus Christ’s birth?!?  Never being able to look at a Christmas tree the same way is the least of your problems.  Do this and you’ll never be able to look at a Chrismas tree, your husband, or a roll of aluminum foil the same way.

Happy Holidays.

Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Pleasure.

17-back-hair.w710.h473.2x

Casandra M. from Austin, Texas asks, “Dear Answerman, I would rather pleasure myself than have sex with my husband. Is that normal?”

Dear Casandra, professionals preach the necessity of freshining up a stale sex life, but “professionals” are oblivious to the damage 20 years of domestic beer, Cinnobuns® and back hair have on sexual magnetism. My call, keep doing what you’re doing and throw the guy a hump every once in a while.  If having sex was always supposed to be fun there would be a ride for it at Disneyland.

Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com

instagram: poppyisadog

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hooking

Red Heart

Yvonne K. from Davenport, Iowa asks, “Dear Answerman, I recently graduated college and I’ve been covering my living expenses and college loans by working as an escort. My parents expect me to go to law school, so if they find out they will explode. What should I do?”

Dear Yvonne, prostitution is a noble profession. You’re bringing joy and happiness to lonely men, whose wives are repulsed by them. And, if you think about it, the only difference between you and a lawyer is that lawyers won’t kiss their clients as they fuck them.

 Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Naked.

Caren B, from Fort Wayne, Indiana writes: Dear Answerman, I’m 16 and my father says he has to walk around nude to dry his hemorrhoids. I’m disgusted, what should I do?

Caren, simple solution to your problem. Next time he decides to publicly air dry his hemorrhoids say in a very loud voice to your mother, “Mom, does it bother you that dad is hung like a light switch?”

Love.

Poppy

email your questions to: justaskpoppy@icloud.com

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dad’s Girlfriend

Jeanie M, from Spokane, Washington writes, “Dear Poppy, my dad’s girlfriend is mean and gross and I hate her, should I tell him?”

Jeanie, think of yourself as a doctor, who needs to decide if she should tell a patient to remove a non-life threatening goiter, that has sex with him. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements
my my day

it's your day, enjoy it.

If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas?

I am Poppy and I offer the best advice you never wanted. Email me a question at poppyadvice[at]gmail.com

ItsJustADogBook.com

It's Just A Dog is a novel and a dog blog about dog books, dog movies, dog videos, and funny dogs galore!

Michael Bradley - Time Traveler

The official website of Michael Bradley - Author of novels, short stories and poetry involving the past, future, and what may have been.

No Dog About It Blog

It's all about dogs!

Gentle Touch Dog Training on Settlement Drive

Woof! wag, wag, glad you're here to talk, show, think canine.

bunkers down.

bunker down, what morons say when they mean hunker down.

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

charlottecarrendar

~Weaving Words in her Web~

esellsted

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

Storytime with John

Pull up and listen...I've got a funny one for ya...

The Good Greatsby

Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved...by somebody rich and famous.

my real fake life

I lie because my real life is so awesome no one would believe me.

jacksteinslife

Just another WordPress.com site

%d bloggers like this: