The Answer Man
I am Poppy and I offer the best advice you never wanted. Email me a question at poppyadvice[at]gmail.com
Tag Archives: love
Love Conquers
Clive L, from Bay Head, New Jersey asks, “Mr. Answerman, do you believe love conquers all?”
Yes, but only if you’re rich and hung like Secretariat.
Love.
Poppy
justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Dad’s Girlfriend
Jeanie M, from Spokane, Washington writes, “Dear Poppy, my dad’s girlfriend is mean and gross and I hate her, should I tell him?”
Jeanie, think of yourself as a doctor, who needs to decide if she should tell a patient to remove a non-life threatening goiter, that has sex with him. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.
Tattoo
Stacy K. from North Hollywood, California asks, “Poppy, my fiancee has each of his ex-wife’s names tattooed on his arms and he won’t get rid of them (there are two ex-wives). What should I do?”
Stacy, it’s not very often that you come across a man who hasn’t grasped the concept that marriage is temporary, but tattoos are forever…twice. If I were you I’d be happy that he wasn’t tattooed with the names of the people he infected with herpes. Good luck, looks like you’ve found yourself a keeper.
Love.
Poppy
justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Lies.
Seth D, from Chicago, Illinois writes, “Poppy, is it ever okay to lie?”
Seth, yes, and I’d like to add, I can tell by the way you type that you are a very handsome man.
Love.
Poppy
justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Girlfriend Problem.
Pete E. from Ann Arbor, Michigan asks: “My girlfriend is cheating on me, what should I do?”
Pete, did you really ask, “what should I do?”
Here’s an idea, hit one of those websites dedicated to women looking for men who have “mommy” issues. Good luck, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding someone to escort you to Cher concerts.
Love.
Poppy
justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Love.
Shawn M. from Biloxi, Mississippi askes, “Poppy, have you ever been in love?”
Yes, a Chow Chow named Koontz. She’s got everything I like in my bitches. A little meat on the bones, extra fur where you need it and an ass that smells like rotisserie chicken.
Love.
Poppy
justaskpoppy@icloud.com
I Heart You.
The Answer Man 