Tag Archives: funny or die

No Retreat

fifteen-fat-people-in-a-hot-tub-10851-1257781868-2

Allison W. from Metarie, Louisiana writes: “Dear Answerman, I work for a small company and we’re about to have a retreat. The owner wants everyone to stay at his vacation home and said “drinking games, bathing suits, hot tub, yee-haw!”. The last thing I want is to see my co-workers drunk, in bathing suits, in a hot tub. What should I do?

Dear Allison,  I’m trying to figure out if you work at a frat house or your boss based this “retreat” on the un-made Seth Rogan, James Franco buddy movie entitled “My Boss is a Fucking Perv, Yee-Haw!”

Regardless, my advice is to find a good lawyer and bone up on caribbean tax havens, because you just hit the sexual harassment lottery! Don’t forget your camera, juries LOVE pictures and videos.

LIKE us here and on Facebook if you love bad advice.

Love,

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Instagram: poppyisadog

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Child-Proof

boy-1473862_960_720

Leslie R., from Potomac, Maryland writes: “Dear Answerman, my 8 year old son walked in on me and my husband having sex. What do I say to him?”

Dear Leslie, I once caught my mother in the middle of a three-way with a one balled schnauzer and poodle mix in a doggie wheelchair, so I understand how sensitive this can be. Tell him, “Daddy was looking for the TV remote, in my vagina.” In my experience, lying is the best solution.

LIKE us here and on Facebook if you love bad advice.

Love,

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Instagram: poppyisadog

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Bikini

BikiniClothesLine

Eunice K, from Arapahoe, Indiana asks, “Dear Mr. Answerman, when do I know it’s time to stop wearing a bikini?”

Dear Eunice, I’m no fan of “body shaming”, everyone should make their own call as to when it’s time to hang up the two piece. Having said that, I’ve created this simple three question test for my readers:

1) From a distance, does it look like your ass slipped around to where your crotch is?

2) Do guys with gang tattoos say your c-section scar is “muy caliente”?

3) Have you ever gone to Olive Garden, ordered their “Sausage Stuffed Giant Rigatoni” and had the waiter reply, “Oh snap! Shit just got real up in this bitch.”

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions it’s time to start thinking about a one piece and some Zumba classes.

 Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Advertisements
my my day

it's your day, enjoy it.

If This Is A Blog Then What's Christmas?

I am Poppy and I offer the best advice you never wanted. Email me a question at poppyadvice[at]gmail.com

ItsJustADogBook.com

It's Just A Dog is a novel and a dog blog about dog books, dog movies, dog videos, and funny dogs galore!

Michael Bradley - Time Traveler

The official website of Michael Bradley - Author of novels, short stories and poetry involving the past, future, and what may have been.

No Dog About It Blog

It's all about dogs!

Gentle Touch Dog Training on Settlement Drive

Woof! wag, wag, glad you're here to talk, show, think canine.

bunkers down.

bunker down, what morons say when they mean hunker down.

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

charlottecarrendar

~Weaving Words in her Web~

esellsted

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

Storytime with John

Pull up and listen...I've got a funny one for ya...

The Good Greatsby

Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved...by somebody rich and famous.

my real fake life

I lie because my real life is so awesome no one would believe me.

jacksteinslife

Just another WordPress.com site

%d bloggers like this: