Bikini | The Answer Man

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By Lloyd Stein advice, advice column, Humor

Bikini

Eunice K, from Arapahoe, Indiana asks, “Dear Mr. Answerman, when do I know it’s time to stop wearing a bikini?”

Dear Eunice, I’m no fan of “body shaming”, everyone should make their own call as to when it’s time to hang up the two piece. Having said that, I’ve created this simple three question test for my readers:

1) From a distance, does it look like your ass slipped around to where your crotch is?

2) Do guys with gang tattoos say your c-section scar is “muy caliente”?

3) Have you ever gone to Olive Garden, ordered their “Sausage Stuffed Giant Rigatoni” and had the waiter reply, “Oh snap! Shit just got real up in this bitch.”

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions it’s time to start thinking about a one piece and some Zumba classes.

Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com

Tagged advice, advice column, big butt, bikini, body shame, body shaming, butt, college humor, comedy, dark comedy, dark humor, dog, dumb, exercise, funny, funny or die, humor, idiot, laugh, loser, love, olive garden, one piece, poppy, sex, stupid, summer, truth, workout, workout clothes, zumba

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