The Answer Man
I am Poppy and I offer the best advice you never wanted. Email me a question at poppyadvice[at]gmail.com
Tag Archives: ex-girlfriend
The Ugly Truth
Anna L, from Cocoa Beach, Florida writes: “Dear Answerman, my boyfriend just blurted out that his ex is better in the sack than me, and then he topped it off with, ‘it’s okay because I love you and I never loved her.’ What the hell am I supposed to do with that nugget of shit?!”
Dear Anna, your boyfriend is a hopeless romantic…in the same way that “Gonorrhea” is a great name for a newborn. I see your relationship playing out like this: You stay together, get married, have kids, while he screws everything including dead bodies and knotty pine. Get out before you are carrying his demon seed.
Love,
Poppy
justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Instagram: poppyisadog
Lingerie
Liz W. from Roanoke, Virgina asks, “Mr. Answerman, I’ve been living with my boyfriend for 5 months and he still has his ex-girlfriend’s lingerie in our bedroom closet. I told him “it’s got to go”, but he says I’m “over-reacting”. Thoughts?
Liz, “overreacting” is screaming at your boyfriend’s mother, “you are a skanky, ho-bag, sea donkey!”, because she greets him with a hug and kiss. I’d say if anything, living with someone else’s underwear in your closet means you have “low self-esteem” mixed with an unhealthy dollop of “abandonment issues” …or as I like to call it “The Stripper Complex”.
By the way, have you checked to see if the lingerie is your boyfriend’s size?
Love.
Poppy
justaskpoppy@icloud.com
The Answer Man 