divorce | The Answer Man

A Little Pain

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John M. from St. Paul, Minnesota asks, “Dear Poppy, I’m 48, divorced and I’d like to think that that I’m fairly experienced when it comes to sex. A few months ago I started dating a new woman who likes to stick her finger up my butt. I keep telling her I’m not into that, but she keeps saying that I need to relax. What should I do?”

Dear John, while I realize that “assplay” is all the rage with the cool kids, I think some things are better left mysterious…with your turd crib being at the top of that list.

So, I think you’ve got two options:

Option #1: Prior to any foreplay, have an honest and sincere conversation, where you clearly explain that your posterior is off-limits. Then, after she stops laughing at you, inform her that perhaps the two of you should take a break.

Option #2: Surprise her by having a “butt truffle” waiting in the chute. The moment she plucks a cherry from your ass, her prospecting days will be over.

Please write me back, I’m dying to know how this turns out!

Love,

Poppy

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Email: justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Facebook: mranswerman Instagram: poppyisadog

Choices

Savanah H. from Duluth, Georgia asks, “Dear Answerman, I’m 43, divorced and just getting back into the dating pool. What’s the best way to attract men, cleavage or side boob?”

Dear Savanah, it is not your ample bosom that will entice your soul mate, but rather, the strength of your character, the depth of your inner beauty, and ultimately, your endless humanity…just kidding, side boob.

Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com

The Answer Man

I am Poppy and I offer the best advice you never wanted. Email me a question at poppyadvice[at]gmail.com

Tag Archives: divorce

A Little Pain

Dear John, while I realize that “assplay” is all the rage with the cool kids, I think some things are better left mysterious…with your turd crib being at the top of that list.

So, I think you’ve got two options:

Option #1: Prior to any foreplay, have an honest and sincere conversation, where you clearly explain that your posterior is off-limits. Then, after she stops laughing at you, inform her that perhaps the two of you should take a break.

Option #2: Surprise her by having a “butt truffle” waiting in the chute. The moment she plucks a cherry from your ass, her prospecting days will be over.

Please write me back, I’m dying to know how this turns out!

Love,

Poppy

LIKE us here and on Facebook if you love advice.

Email: justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Facebook: mranswerman Instagram: poppyisadog

Choices

Savanah H. from Duluth, Georgia asks, “Dear Answerman, I’m 43, divorced and just getting back into the dating pool. What’s the best way to attract men, cleavage or side boob?”

Dear Savanah, it is not your ample bosom that will entice your soul mate, but rather, the strength of your character, the depth of your inner beauty, and ultimately, your endless humanity…just kidding, side boob.

Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com

The Answer Man

I am Poppy and I offer the best advice you never wanted. Email me a question at poppyadvice[at]gmail.com

Tag Archives: divorce

A Little Pain

Dear John, while I realize that “assplay” is all the rage with the cool kids, I think some things are better left mysterious…with your turd crib being at the top of that list.

So, I think you’ve got two options:

Option #1: Prior to any foreplay, have an honest and sincere conversation, where you clearly explain that your posterior is off-limits. Then, after she stops laughing at you, inform her that perhaps the two of you should take a break.

Option #2: Surprise her by having a “butt truffle” waiting in the chute. The moment she plucks a cherry from your ass, her prospecting days will be over.

Please write me back, I’m dying to know how this turns out!

Love,

Poppy

LIKE us here and on Facebook if you love advice.

Email: justaskpoppy@icloud.com Facebook: mranswerman Instagram: poppyisadog

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Choices

Savanah H. from Duluth, Georgia asks, “Dear Answerman, I’m 43, divorced and just getting back into the dating pool. What’s the best way to attract men, cleavage or side boob?”

Dear Savanah, it is not your ample bosom that will entice your soul mate, but rather, the strength of your character, the depth of your inner beauty, and ultimately, your endless humanity…just kidding, side boob.

Love.

Poppy

justaskpoppy@icloud.com

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Email: justaskpoppy@icloud.com
Facebook: mranswerman Instagram: poppyisadog