Dan M. from Dodge City Kansas asks, “Dear Answerman, I say climate change is fake, what do you think?”
Dear Dan, it’s obvious that you are a man who does his research and knows right from wrong, so let’s take a look at some of your other wise choices.
The home-made hot tub that overheated, boiled your testicles and rendered you infertile.
That tattoo that expresses your love for a band that wrote “Something in Your Mouth.” (you’re so much cooler when you leave it in your mouth/’cuz you look so much cuter with something in your mouth.) Nothing says “classy” like a song about blowjobs.
The time your friends said, “Hey who wants to stand on their head, put lightbulbs in their underwear, spread their legs and drop a wooden stepladder on their nut sack?” And you replied, “Pick me!”
Is climate change for real? It’s as real as the glass shards embedded in your taint.
Love.
Poppy
justaskpoppy@icloud.com