RESOLUTION


cheetos

Stella T. from Arlington, Texas writes: “Dear Poppy, my husband said I should make a New Year’s resolution to lose weight because ‘it’s hard to get it with a fat chick’.  I know I need to lose weight…but this really hurt. What should I do?”

Dear Stella, it’s apparent your husband was educated at the “Donald Trump School of Etiquette”.  Regardless,  I always advise to respond with honesty and grace. Try this:

“I can lose the weight, but can you grow a bigger dick? It’s hard to ‘get it‘ with that Cheeto you call a penis.”

Love,

Poppy

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