Skank’t


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Adam B. from Bardstown, Kentucky writes, “Dear Answerman, my mom says sex is better if you love the person, but I’m not sure I believe it. I have great sex with lots of skanks.”

Dear Adam, I’m going to put this in terms you will understand. A McDonald’s Filet O’ Fish may seem like a “great” meal, but it’s really just empty calories and explosive diarrhea, in other words the “skank” of food.

A “great” meal is made with patience and love and care and it’s served by people who don’t wear paper hats. Once you’ve had a truly great meal, you’ll never be able to eat McDonalds again…unless of course you enjoy explosive diarrhea.

Love,

Poppy

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6 thoughts on “Skank’t

  1. Pam Stamataky says:

    What depth from a pup. Such romance and bravado. But I have to challenge your doggie wisdom; are you saying if I out enjoy a fine meal I can’t also cheat with a little junk food from time to time?

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    • Lloyd Stein says:

      My dearest Pamela, there is nothing quite as exciting as a Butter Burger® to break up the monotony of a staid, but solid diet of veggies and protein. But remember that while the 2AM Butter Burger® that follows an evening of “tequila bingo” with your new friends is fun, it should probably remain a treat to satiate a quick desire. I wouldn’t recommend making it a habit, unless you have the metabolism of a chipmunk on crack.
      Love,
      Poppy

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      • Pamela Stamataky says:

        Butter Burger, Brat Stop, Mars Cheese, even Mike’s Jersey Subs…temptation is all around us. I appreciate your canine wisdom but how does one resist?

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      • Lloyd Stein says:

        Pamela, I’m no longer sure if we are talking about skank sex or skank food. Regardless, I’d like to answer your question, as best as I can.
        I think you could make an argument that a Butter Burger®, Brat Stop and the Mars Cheese Castle are that swarthy, squat, bald guy who you think you’d never invite to your boudoir, but in a moment of weakness you do, only to find out that he is perhaps the most enjoyable…”meal” you could have…in that moment. But the next day, as your vision clears, you realize that what was good at 2AM, might not be so good at 8AM, as he leaves a trail of back hair clogging your shower drain. Jersey Mikes, on the other hand, is just another boring guy, who lacks imagination and actually owns “dress” jeans with buttons on the back pockets and loafers from Skechers. And while you may also have a weakness for him, ultimately you will find that the rote mechanics of his style leaves you feeling empty and wondering how such a boring “sandwich” could be franchised.
        Now go forward and do something stupid, that you will regret, and then tell your friends about.
        Love,
        Poppy

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  2. Lloyd Stein says:

    Wise beyond her years.

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  3. Poppy is a wise dog. 🙂

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